Dizzy Up The Girl
by AndKatnissRaisedHerBow
Summary: "Complicated situations are the making of all that's wrong..." / Sometimes, love just isn't enough. It hurts to let go, but it's better in the end, right?


_"I am going to walk out this door and count to ten. If you're not out there when I get to ten, I'm going home and we're over"_

_1..._

Sigh.

_2..._

Why is it so quiet?

_3..._

Yes, Cat. I remembered. Yay.

_4..._

C'mon, Beck.

_5..._

What the hell is all that noise?

_6..._

God, tell me it isn't Trina...

_7..._

Hurry it up, Beck. You're almost out of time...

_8..._

He'll come, he's just playing games again.

_9..._

Beck, don't do this to me...

_10..._

He doesn't love me anymore...

_"Let's play some cards."_

**.**

_1._

_"When she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach so she ran away in her sleep..."_

A small Jade West lies on a bed far too big for her small body, a nest of blankets and quilts surrounding her, the patterns and colors all weaved through one another, making it hard to look at. She's talking to her teddy bear, Scissors. He never says anything back to her, but he's all she has, so she makes do. The one-sided conversation carries on for quite some time, the tiny girl's voice growing louder and louder everytime she hears another shout or scream from her parents across the house. She tells Scissors all about her day at school (_because her parents are too busy fighting to ask_). She tells Scissors about the girl she met, Cat. She was her age, but so much smaller. A big kid pushed her off the monkey bars so Jade knocked out his front tooth (_even then she was a fighter_). Jade tells Scissors everything, but he doesn't move an inch. He just sits there, on her lap, staring at her with those beady eyes.

Soon, she hears a door slam. Her dad has gone for the night, off to the bar, or his girlfriend(s), or a motel to hook up with some random prostitute. But, you see, little Jade doesn't know this. She thinks he's gone out to get ice cream. She doesn't understand why her Mommy cries when Daddy is just out for a little while. But, still, she doesn't move from her caccoon of softness. She only buries herself deeper inside the various fabrics and stares back at Scissors, who's eyes seem to bore holes into her. She doesn't understand that either. There's alot that the small girl doesn't understand, but she doesn't dare ask anyone about it. Because if she does, she might get hit. You see, Daddy doesn't like it when Jade asks questions. Daddy doesn't like questions.

_2..._

_"Your eyes are the bloodiest of all the colors..."_

Two years pass, and little Jade is eight now. She wakes up on a Tuesday, to hear her parents yelling at each other once again. Unfortunately, it is not a strange thing for the small girl to wake up to, it's sad, really. When she enters the kitchen, in search of something for breakfast, Daddy yanks Scissors from under her arm, and rips him to shreds. The poor little girl tries hard not to cry, but she just doesn't understand how Daddy could be so mean to Scissors, to her. Scissors was her only friend.

_3..._

_"She was given the world, so much that she couldn't see. She needed someone to show her who she could be..."_

Three days after Daddy destroyed Scissors, little Jade made a new friend. He was a new kid in school, he had dark hair and olive skin and he was easy to talk to. She told Beck about what her Daddy had done to Scissors, and he hugged her. The next day, Beck came to school with a special surprise. During recess, he gave Jade a new pair of scissors. The were red, and only kiddy scissors, but still Jade smiled and hugged him tight.

_4..._

_"We are children of divorce, and victims of disfunction..."_

Jade West is thirteen when her parents tell her that they're getting a divorce. She sulks and she pouts, but when no one is looking, the teenager (_not 'little girl' anymore. She's far too old for that now_) rejoices. She let's out a relieved sigh the moment her parents turn away. _This means no more fighting_.

_5..._

_"You see, everything's gotta be fine, fine, fine. 'Cause I've got a hand in my pocket, and the other one's giving a high five..."_

Later that day, Jade tells Beck of her parent's news. He looks at her sympothetically, as if it were something she would be sad about. He gives her a questioning look when she exclaimes in a very girl-ish manner, and she rolls her eyes. "I've been waiting for them to split up, stupid. All they do is fight!" It's when he nods hesitantly and spins her around excitedly, still a little bit confused, that she kisses him for the first time. It's short and a little sloppy, but still, it's a kiss.

Two months later, they are officially declared to be dating.

_6..._

_"Even the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn, but God knows we're worth it..."_

One week after Jade's sixteenth birthday, she opens the door to her acting class and is greeted by an eyefull of Tori Vega. She's rubbing her forearm all over Beck's shirt, and her eyes go wide as they both try to make excuses.  
>"Dude, why you rubbing my boyfriend?" Jade says, a threatening tone in her voice. The smaller brunette studders and trips over her words, so Beck kisses his girlfriend's cheek and tells her to calm down. Jade sends a glare his way, but follows him to thier seats, directing a few nasty looks towards Tori.<p>

Minutes later, Sikowitz calls a still annoyed Jade, along with other classmates, including _Vega_ to the stage. She touches Beck's hand, halfway up the steps and plants a kiss on his lips, marking her territory.

"Jade! You can kiss your boyfriend on your own time!"

"Oh, I will." She says with a smirk, a suggestive edge to her voice as the class' eyes widen.

The day ends with her pouring some random guy's iced coffee onto Tori's head, and Beck dragging her off to the side to lecture about how she should treat people. Tough chiz, Vega. Keep your slutty hands off Beck.

The next day, Vega somehow manages the courage to do what no girl has dared to do since Jade West claimed Beck Oliver as her's. Vega managed to not only kiss Beck, but to get him to kiss her. Suffice to say, Jade was angry.

No, she wasn't just angry. Jade West gets angry all the time. This was a different feeling. This was hurt. Betrayal. This was a pain she was not used to. It wasn't physical pain, she had never known this type of abuse. She couldn't believe that Beck Oliver, the only person that had never tried to hurt her, had introduced her to this new, horrid pain.

She saw him coming around the corner, looking for her, she supposed, and, even though she ran, she let him catch her. She nodded when he said he loved her and responded when he kissed her, but something struck a chord in her head.

_7..._

_"I know that you're true to me. You're always there, you say you care. I know that you wanna be mine. But where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you..."_

After that day, something felt different to Jade. But, no, she didn't voice any of her concerns. She only kept going on as normal, ignoring that little tinge of pain poking at her. She could feel it, just under her skin. Just close enough to nag her and pull at her heart, and even sometimes, make her believe it.

Sometimes, though, she forgot about that little worm under her skin. Like when Beck kissed her forehead, just a reminder of his love, or when he pulled her close because he simply could. When she felt his body against her's in the morning, his brown eyes gazing lazily at her as her blue ones fluttered open. It was times like those that made her believe that love could exist in such a cruel, cold world. In those moments, she felt as if she could walk on water, heal the blind and feed the poor. All because of that one boy.

But, just when she's beginning to lose herself in that love, she remembers that the same boy, the one that, after three years, still makes her heart swell when she sees him, has also been the one to make her cry the hardest. The saddest part, is that more than the seemingly perfect moments they've had over time, she remembers the bad times the most vividly. Instead of thinking of the time he told her he loves her, and only her, she thinks of the very next day, when he ditched her audition, for Tori, who needed help with a script. Instead of the memories of when he stood up for her against her father, she recalls him yelling at her two days later, making her cry harder than her father ever did. (_She knew Daddy didn't care anymore. Beck was supposed to be the one that loved her_)

_8..._

_"My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations, and I know that I should let go, but I can't..." _

It's their third fight that week, and she's beginning to think that maybe the little voice in her head, maybe, it could have been right. She knew Beck loved her, and she knew she loved him, but was that going to be enough? Was it ever enough?  
>She kept on screaming and yelling, because that's all she's ever known. She's Jade West. She's never been shown an example of how to sucessfully hold up a relationship, especially when it seemed to her that she was the only one trying anymore. Beck's words were becoming more and more venomous, he didn't try to calm her down like he used to. He only spat sharp phrases at her, wounding her more than he could ever know. But, she didn't dare let it show. She kept up her defiant exterior and started hiding out from Beck. It was an unfamiliar thing for her to do, but she toughed it out. All he seemed to do lately was yell at her, or get mad. By this point, they hardly ever spent time together any more. He took more trips to Canada, leaving practically every other weekend. She spent more time with Cat, who was never oblivious to the reason she kept hanging around. But Cat never pointed it out, or called her on it. Because that's not what best friends do.<p>

Jade spent some time with her little brother, before her parents got home, but she never could stay around with him for long. He kept asking things like "Jadey, where's Beck?" She never had the heart to tell him that, more than likely, Beck wouldn't be coming by to visit him much. Truth be told, she couldn't even make herself believe it yet.

_9..._

_"Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth, mid-sweet talk, newpaper word cut outs. Speak no feeling, no I don't believe. You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit..."_

There's not much time left now. They're sitting in class, and he's yelling. Again. She hardly even bothers to fight back. His brutality isn't lost on her, and she can't ignore the feeling that he's provoking in her. She can't quite place it; It's not that pain she felt when Tori came to school, the dull knife, ebbing away at her heart. This is a searing pain, burning her, eating her alive. She knows it isn't right. No one should be put through this. But she just can't bring herself to do anything about it.

For some reason, you agree to watch Sinjin's game show. Maybe because she thought that if they could be around other couples, Beck might realize what being in a relationship means. However, that doesn't happen. She can't help but feel a glimmer of hope as Sinjin asks them, along with the rest of the gang, to be in his game show instead. Now's the perfect chance for Beck to show he does still care. That the past years haven't been in vain.

But you don't always get what you want, do you? Instead, the two are voted Worst Couple. Which only eggs him on further. Now, he has an actual reason to complain.

Jade avoids talking to him as much as possible the next day. The only time she lets him bring it up, he's drug her into the janitor's closet, and she blows it off as much as possible, storming out.

Later that night, they're in his RV. Calm for the first time in weeks. He pulls her closer and she sighs in relief, setting her head on his chest. She's missed this. She craned her neck to kiss his jaw, and he met her lips with his instead, smiling down at her; The game show and it's outcome completely forgotten.

But nothing is perfect. Just as the kiss was starting to get fun, Beck's phone beeped. It was a text from Andre, saying that he was with the rest of the group. Beck sent a quick text back, asking where, then returned his attention to Jade, who was content in her spot on his lap, leaning against him. He kissed her hair and she smiled at him. Then, another text from Andre came through, saying that the rest of them asked him not to invite him and Jade, because of their fighting. Jade glanced over at the phone, scoffing. "What's his problem?"

Beck paused, "Us."

"What do you mean?"  
>"I mean, Jade. None of them want us around. Because all we do is fight."<p>

"That's not true..."  
>"Yeah, Jade. It is."<br>"No. It's not. We were _just_ sitting around, being calm. Not fighting."  
>"For the first time in weeks."<br>"Oh my God, are you seriously going to fight over how much we fight?"

"Everyone is at Tori's right now. I guarantee it. And not a single one of them want me there, because you're always picking a fight."

Within minutes, he's dragging her out to the car. The ride to Tori's is silent. Beck's ego is too wounded by the fact that his friends don't want him around, and Jade's too busy trying to fight back tears.

The conversation inside Tori's carries on as everyone expected it to. Until the end. Jade walks out the door, counts to ten. She reaches ten, and he's still not out there. She's shocked, despite herself.

_10..._

_"Complicated situations are the making of all that's wrong. And I've been standing in the river of deliverance was too long..."_

She drives home, just as she said she would. And she never looked back. Never sheds a single tear. This was for the better, she'll make it through.

**a/n: Yeah, so this took forever. I think towards the end, it kinda sucks. But I was told that the rest is good. :p **

**Before you hate me for the way it ended, I feel compelled to say that I have a companion peice in the making, Beck's point of view on this whole mess. Then, I have another piece after that, that will bring it all together. Closure :)**

**Songs are:**

**Paradise- Coldplay**

**Thunder- Boys Like Girls**

**Two Worlds Collide- Demi Lovato**

**Generation Love- Jennette McCurdy**

**Hand In My Pocket- Alanis Morisette**

**I Won't Give Up- Jason Mraz**

**Where Is Your Heart- Kelly Clarkson**

**Foundation- Kate Nash**

**Hide And Seek- Imogen Heap**

**Call Your Name- Daughtry**

**All great songs :)**

**Review!  
>MuchLove<strong>

**Cat *heart***

**P.S. I'm about half finished with an update for Speak Now (finally). It's got alot going on in it, and I hope you guys will like it :) Sorry it's taken so long.**


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